Wednesday, April 30, 2014

US Citizenship test dummys.

1 comment:

  1. Back in the ancient days before the ipod when I ran a semi-successful amazon & e-bay book & music & movie store, I put an ad on craigslist to see if I could get someone knowledgeable enough to go to garage sales and buy stuff for me to re-sell. I had some very basic questions to qualify dipshits on the phone for even a preliminary interview, after which I had a harder hundred question multiple choice test ready, to which I would give them the answers to study in jumbled form first: name one book written by Mark Twain. Who wrote "War & Peace"? Name one book by Ernest Hemingway. Who wrote the book "1984'? Who was Miles Davis? Who directed "2001 A Space Odyssey"? Who directed "Taxi Driver"? Basic crap.

    Lots of people called because I was offering decent pay for part-time work on weekends & profit-sharing if they were good at it. Forget Miles Davis, most people who called didn't even know a single Mark Twain or Hemingway book and they're supposed to be Americans. Of course, more people knew who directed "Taxi Driver" than a single book by Mark Twain, which was hilarious and predictable. Only 3 people out of maybe 40 that called got all the answers right. A guitarist who had played some sessions with ex-members of the band Swans was one of them & a red-haired half-Jew with a red-&-yellow Ho-Chi-Minh shirt. lol The red-haired half-Jew got 100% on the hundred question test without even studying for it! I couldn't friggin' believe it because it wasn't an easy test or I wouldn't be letting them look at the answers in jumbled form. I wanted to see how well they retained information. The guitarist passed with around 70% after studying. I hired the 100% guy, suspicious that he might have hacked the test out of my computer, but the bastard didn't shower, chain-smoked Marlboro reds & to increase the stink wore his boxers out of his baggy pants like some black rapper, etc. When he started giving me a lecture about how Ezra Pound was a 'Jew-hating Fascist' and not a great intellect of any kind and bankers-funding-both-sides-of-wars was a debunked anti-semitic 'myth,' I told him to either wear a belt to hold his goddamn pants up or take a hike. lol The non-commie beer-drinking guitarist who actually showered once or twice a week got the job and kept it for one year, but needless to add he also wore his underwear out of his friggin pants.

    ~ Negentropic

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